


open season

by thunderylee



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Angst, Canon Universe, Gen, introspective, nonlinear timeline
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-21
Updated: 2010-08-21
Packaged: 2019-01-30 09:03:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12650421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thunderylee/pseuds/thunderylee
Summary: Seasons come and seasons go.





	open season

**Author's Note:**

> reposted from agck. written for je_justfriends 2010.

> i. autumn

The world whirls by in gusts of leaves and cool air, passing by the stationary man on the park bench. He has a lot of free time for an idol, sitting with his back straight and his hands folded in his lap like he’s waiting for something.

All he’s waiting for right now is the future.

It’s been a few months but the scar on his chest is still a painful reminder how delicate life is, even if it only hurts when he thinks about it. He doesn’t like to think about it, to remember how scary it was and the initial uncertainty; it wasn’t the worst thing that could have happened to him, but at the time it felt like it.

He’s supposed to be taking it easy, he’s supposed to be relaxing. The others constantly berate him when he so much as _moves_ , treating him like an invalid who shouldn’t even be trying to stand up. He knows they are just concerned, tending to him because they care, but it doesn’t make it any less humiliating.

Across the way, there are children running and laughing while their parents picnic nearby. Aiba envies their youthful energy, his nerves itching to do the same, to just get up and run as far as he can just because he can. No destination in mind, no looking back.

In his mind, he does. He runs and runs, feeling the wind whipping through his hair and the hard ground beneath his feet, the muscles of his shoulders and back moving with each turn of his upper body. It’s such a simple feeling that everybody takes for granted, and now the closest Aiba can get is sitting outside with the sharp breeze and sunlight peeking through the swaying tree branches, creating dancing patterns on the sidewalk that mock him while he watches other people do what he can’t.

Living vicariously through normal people seems unheard of when one is an idol himself. It’s just another thing to make him feel guilty.

A small woman walks by with several dogs on leashes, and Aiba smiles. He likes animals, even big ones that look like they could walk _him_ instead of the other way around. One good thing about not having a lot of work is that he gets to spend time with his pets as well as his family, all of whom are exuberant enough to make up for him.

Maybe when he recovers completely, he’ll tell his manager that he wants to work with animals. With a bunch of them running around, maybe no one will notice that he’s not.

For now he just has to wait. He’s going to be twenty years old soon, an adult. He already feels like he’s had to grow up too fast, the precious innocence of youth lost way before he was ready. It seems ridiculous to wish for the future while lamenting the past, but it makes sense to Aiba. Ironically, it’s then that he will feel young again, to live without worry and face every day with his head high, holding nothing back.

And when that future comes, he’ll run barefoot.

> ii. winter

It doesn’t snow in L.A.

It gets cold and rainy, but there’s no actual snow. Nino wonders if the appearance of snow would lift his mood any.

He’s only been here for a few weeks, but it’s still technically winter. It doesn’t feel like winter, though, at least not as he knows it. Even if the weather is enough to postpone filming because a majority of it is set outside.

Staring out the window, Nino decides that it would be marginally better if there was snow. Even if he probably wouldn’t make the effort to go play in it, he would _think_ about playing in it and his mind would regress to a much younger age, building snowmen with his sister back when his father was still around and they were a real family.

The rain just makes him bored, and a bored Nino in a foreign country has the potential to be dangerous.

Gusts of heat blow through his ostentatious hotel room and fog up the windows, which Nino utilizes to draw stick figures fighting with roundhouse kicks and bitch slaps.

It’s entertaining to him, anyway. He could play video games, but he ran out of batteries and can’t be bothered to call down to the front desk for more. English takes thought and he doesn’t want to be unintentionally rude. Likewise, he could go buy an umbrella and walk around town, but that would require moving and possible attempts at the aforementioned English.

Especially in his line of work, unexpected lazy afternoons are few and far between, and should be treated like gold. But the big difference between now and every other time is that he’s alone regardless of whether he’s filming or not.

He’s been on many tours over the years, but this is the first time that he’s truly been homesick. If it wasn’t the wee hours of the morning in Japan, he would call someone. He still could a little later in the day, although it’s the middle of the week and everyone he knows is working, at school, or Arashi.

The thought of his bandmates carrying on without him, busy to the point of exhaustion while he sits completely relaxed in a warm hotel room, debating his feelings on the pounding rain, makes his mouth twitch in a prelude to a smile. In addition to being grateful for the opportunity, for being _here_ , for representing his agency as well as his country in what might be the highest honor of his career, he’s also grateful that he gets to do all of that while sitting on his ass and doodling on the windows.

Even if it’s just for the day, even if he’s still a little bitter about being excluded from basically everything on the other side of the world.

With the rain also comes inspiration, concepts and feelings that can’t be bothered to form actual words or complete thoughts. What should be frustrating ends up pleasing him the most, his mind overtaken by lyrics that will never see paper, a heartfelt story that only he will feel.

The rain continues to pour as the storm rages, but finally Nino smiles again.

> iii. spring

What they don’t teach you in school is what to do when it’s over.

Sho lingers outside the studio, waiting for his turn to record the vocals for Arashi’s next single. In the past he would have been grateful for this freedom, using it to study or do coursework or even just read the paper to keep up with the world. Technically he could still do the last part, but he doesn’t _have_ to anymore.

There are no more classes to attend, no more projects or assignments or exams. As of this spring, Sakurai Sho is officially a university graduate.

And he feels more lost than he ever has before, the past few weeks stretching into what feels like months of yearning for nothing.

Since before he can remember, his goal in life was to go to university. He started school with that goal, a five-year-old boy dreaming of wearing the Keio cap and gown and making his parents proud. Then Arashi happened and he continued with that goal, persevering with the added support of his bandmates. Between singles and concerts and movies and variety shows, Sho’s entire adolescent and young adult life became a whirlwind of one thing leading to the next, studying on commutes and downtime while only slowing down long enough to sleep for a few hours every night.

The promise of a less stressful future quickly became part of his goal as well. Even if he never took the time to focus on what that kind of future would entail.

This concept of spare time seems foreign to him now, his mind clear of all things studious and his eyes open to the world around him. It’s a bit warm for spring, he thinks. His brain automatically jumps to several theories of productivity as a direct result of consumer moods affected by the abnormal weather and smiles to himself, grateful for the familiarity. He hopes that as he gets older he doesn’t lose this cause-and-effect way of thinking just because the material isn’t forced upon him anymore.

An incurable problem-solver, Sho realizes that the answer lies with him. He’ll only forget this feeling if he chooses to. Down the street is a periodical vendor and Sho purchases the first one that catches his attention, the lonely world news editorial surrounded by tabloids and superficial magazines. He sits down right there on the curb, burying his nose in the pages but not completely oblivious of the world around him, reading for pleasure and his own interest that doesn’t require his full concentration.

He hears the sounds of people walking by, bits and pieces of conversations and gurgling babies. He smells the scent of pastries and something fried wafting from a block or so away. He sees not only the words before him but the scenery all around him, the bright spring colors of young women as well as the mountains in the distance. He feels the pavement under his feet and the hot curb digging into his ass.

His textbook education may be over, but there is still a world of things for him to learn. And just like the cherry blossoms that are opening to experience life, this new adult will bloom too.

> iv. summer

The sun disappears over the horizon at the same pace that Ohno’s eyelids droop, heavy from the long day of meetings and overdosing on his mother’s cooking. His fingers loop in the chain links but the swing is unmoving, the playground empty due to the late hour and week night.

It’s probably a good thing his face is recognizable, otherwise he would probably get arrested for acting like a creeper.

The silence is comforting and unnerving at the same time, penetrating his brain worse than a screaming crowd. Replays of harsh accusations and evading statements run through his mind, meaningless words that are more depth and rhythm than anything coherent. They play a bass line just under the surface of his conscious, the scenery in front of him starting to bop as he moves his head in time.

He should go back, he has a big day tomorrow, but he can’t bring himself to move. The solitude is mesmerizing, the world before his eyes as well as the music in his head. The leaves rustle as the summer night brings with it a slight breeze, the darkening sky lighting up with stars and fireflies and Ohno doesn’t always know which is which. It doesn’t matter, really.

For right now, he is at peace.

Voices join the bass line, not singing or rhythmic at all but it wouldn’t be right if they were, it wouldn’t be _them_. Nonjudgmental, accepting him for who he is regardless of what that actually means. It doesn’t matter because it’s Leader; if it’s Leader, it’s okay.

He feels comfortable here, at home when his real home is a few blocks away. He had come here as a child but it’s been awhile – no time, no reason. Memories of his mother running to bring him home because of the impending rain flood to the front of his mind, and even now at his age he doesn’t understand why he couldn’t keep playing. It’s only water, it won’t hurt him.

The sky breaks open and Ohno wonders if he might not be psychic, his eyes drifting upwards and squinting into the faint rain. The flashes of light reflect off the drops of water and they all seem to dance before his eyes, calling his attention to the mosaic of streetlights reflecting off the rain that replaced the stars as the clouds quickly rolled in. Water flows down his face, over his cheeks, this surreal feeling of crying without producing the tears himself, emotionless but still determined.

His mother won’t save him this time. He has to save himself.

But first, he leans back and faces the rain wholeheartedly. His eyes slowly drift shut but he still sees the lights behind them, a mixture of stars and stage lights that blink like fireflies and entrance him now just like when he was young. When they were young.

It makes him smile. In the midst of this uncertain time, he can still feel joy. It’s this feeling that will get him through it, just like every time before.

He won’t forget it.

> v. autumn pt deux

In Jun’s fifteen years of life, few things have been more uncomfortable than this moment. In this foreign place with these four older boys, only two of whom he actually knows, setting off to sea to learn their fate. Together.

 _Arashi_. It seems like such a strong name, like the sudden storm that rolls in and commands everyone’s attention, interrupting plans and dominating the whole city at that moment. It implies some kind of natural power that Jun isn’t quite sure they have, at least not right now.

The silence between them is pierced as Nino retches again, Aiba patting his back while Sho looks on with sympathetic eyes and the stranger Ohno doesn’t appear to notice at all. Jun wants to fidget with his fingers but that would show vulnerability; already he’s sitting with his knobby knees pulled to his chest, feeling like his limbs are too long for his body due to his latest growth spurt.

His eyes linger on Sakurai Sho, both jealous and enamored at how calm and collected he is. Jun hopes he can be as cool as Sho someday.

The waves of the clear blue sea ripple as the boat sails on, the five of them waiting for the inevitable. Torn between happiness and anxiety, excited to debut but worried for the future. Will Arashi be popular? Will they be able to perform well together? Will they _get along_?

Jun has never been to Hawaii before, and he doesn’t think the others have either. The people, language, even the ocean is different, throwing him further out of his comfort zone. He holds his head high and faces each moment head on, but inside he’s a nervous wreck. Is he good enough? Can he handle it? Will they like him?

In ten years, he hopes he looks back on this moment and laughs. Maybe laugh _with_ them as they celebrate their tenth anniversary as Arashi. _Do you remember when we were on that boat?_ they would reminisce. _I was scared out of my mind, how about you?_

His thoughts are diluted by the water as he stares out into the sea, towards the general direction of Japan and the great distance of ocean in between. He feels far away from everything, his home as well as his goals, but that’s the one thing he shares with the other four on this boat.

He looks at them all in turn, their faces reflecting the worries that are mulling around in his own head. Even Nino’s that has a green tint to it.

Whatever happens, Jun decides, he’ll work hard with these four and do his best to play his part in Arashi. As the youngest he’ll strive to follow their lead and become a responsible adult, while bringing the energy and innocence of youth to keep the balance.

The sun reflects off of the water and makes a rainbow of colors explode behind his eyes, but he can’t bring himself to blink them away. When he looks back on this moment, years later, he hopes that all he will remember is how the sudden rainbow eased his nerves, paving the path of their future in bright, vivid colors.

For right now, all he can do is wonder what color tomorrow’s memory will be.

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. Hadashi no Mirai (barefoot future)  
> 2\. Kansha Kangeki Ame Arashi (gratitude, inspiration, rain, storm)  
> 3\. Sakura Sake (cherry blossom, bloom! or whatever)  
> 4\. Firefly, and since the setting is very vague I should add that it takes place during Ohno’s stoned threesome scandal  
> 5\. Ashita no Kioku (tomorrow’s melody)


End file.
